Coming Storm: Experiments in Abandon Part 4

Tonight I watched a storm come in. I had just been spending time with Abba, and I was walking past the window when I saw the clouds growing dark. For a mountain boy such as myself, a storm coming in is a spiritual experience...and especially when that boy hasn't been to the mountains in a while. As the clouds started to pick up speed and lightening started to flare, I stared hard into the clouds and for a minute or two I was able to drown the cars passing by out of my imagination with a thousand memories of the cool breeze and the groaning of creation stirring to let loose its sermon. The sermon being (of course) that there is a coming storm, and even now we can see the stirring. Whether the rain breaks forth during my earthly breath is yet to be determined, but the truth is that there is significant groaning from Ohio, to Peru, to Mexico and it's not going to stop. Jesus (Yeshua) is coming back. Things are going to get crazy. And while we see the storm coming and lightening flashing, the question is not: "will it rain?" rather the question is: "when will the rain come."

This storm is the purpose of not only these experiments in abandon, but really, it's the whole gist of the way I'm spending my life. Abandon is not for the sake of asceticism, but for the sake of a Call, a Kingdom, a King and a life that is worth living. Yeshua is life. He is God incarnate. He is coming back. For this reason I have chosen to follow Him and continually long for Him to change me from being an average (often spoiled) American bred white kid, and to consume me with His fiery love so that all that's left is all Him and as little me as possible.

So, swirl clouds up above
Atmosphere groan
Clouds burst forth
At the cry of the dry ground

Experiments in Abandon: Part 3

a·ban·don [uh-ban-duh-n]

2.to give up; discontinue; withdraw from

So the point of this meditation/experiment is in no way just an academic look at a conceptual truth. The point of this whole thing is that Jesus Christ is real, what He taught is real, and He is really coming back. With all of its mistake made by its ambassadors over the years, the truth is still Jesus is the way...even though the truth has been distorted by a culture that has strayed far from the value system of the Way (what Jesus taught). I don't say all of this to be a downer, especially to the Church...but I believe we need a wake up call. We have built churches, organizations, programs, and traditions on doctrines (systematically or not) that are largely skewed by the dim mirror rather than being formed by a legitimate hunger to know God. I've done the same in the past in my ministry and mentality.

Every day my prayer is, "Jesus, teach me." Really, my life needs to be about: Jesus (period) I'm not interested in a religious system that focuses on a paying of dues or of getting others to join the club. Christianity is not about a list of dos and don'ts that changes how you act in a social setting, rather it's about encountering the One who created us and in His incarnation (Jesus), He changes us with His Spirit. And that God-man, Jesus Christ, is coming back. And I really believe this...so I can't live "business as usual." So if I look like I'm withdrawing from the culture of what we know in the U.S. this is why. I'm not devoting my life to a purist/holiness mentality in effort to be more pious. I'm simply following this Jesus man as best I can. What He's developing in my heart is a longing to reach out to the poor. I'm starting to cry out for those who have no voice (or treated as not having one). My prayer is that somewhere at the end of this journey, Joel will be non-existent and Jesus will be all that's left. I know it will be an exciting journey, and painful...but it's worth it.

Experiments in Abandon: Part 2

a·ban·don [uh-ban-duh-n]

4. to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation

Jesus spoke a lot about the economy of the Kingdom of God, most of it is along the lines of if you want to find, you've got to lose. Lose what? Your life, your hard "earned" social identity (i.e. popularity, reputation), your comfort...most in a humanistic American culture will say different (thanks a lot gnosticism and doctrines of cheap grace).

More and more this equation is always morphing in my life. Joel + Jesus=? What does this look like? Well, I know what the answer to the equation must be, but what must happen to find the answer? The equation must have some more integers, surely. But the question is: are those integers something that can be notated? It almost seems that abandon for me is 1+whatever my threshold is. I'm always being pushed beyond comfort and beyond my idea of piety...showing me that this is not about piety but about a relationship. In this equation the answer must be Jesus. Always Jesus. Joel+Jesus=Jesus. But in order for that to happen there must be a death of Joel.

In the Hebrew culture of Jesus' day there was a certain significance of the disciples (Talmidim) that would follow Jesus. Usually talmidim cannidates would approach a rabbi and request to follow him, then the rabbi would decide yes or encourage them to pursue something else. The thing with Jesus is that he chose his own talmidim showing that he believed in them from the get go. The talmidim would do everything with their rabbi as not to miss any opportune learning experiences. Really when you followed a rabbi you would leave all to do so.

So what does it mean to follow Jesus? Un-spiritualized and frank, I believe it means saying yes to abandoning all to the person of Jesus Christ. I admit this is hard to do in our Western culture (Christian or not). We live in a very consumerist driven society that is more set on getting instead of giving up. I know this is not a popular idea in the western Church. Maybe that's why God chose the Jews, and it's their promise that we are grafted into...instead of the other way around. Praise God.

Experiments in Abandon: Part 1

a·ban·don [uh-ban-duh-n]
1.to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert

In US Christian Pop-culture you practically need a CPC (Chrisitian Pop Culture) to English dictionary to wade through much of what we talk about. This is one word that has a habit to cause confusion. I remember when I was completing my third CD entitled "Depravity, Grace & Reckless Abandon," when I sat with the project's photographer discussing the project. It took awhile to break ground on the concept because I kept saying "abandon" and the photographer (a relatively new believer) didn't understand. He expressed that when he thinks of abandon he thinks of a negative connotation, like he's being left or deserted. Then a light turned on in my head...Abandon, while it has a much better connotation in today's Western Christian culture, it is flipped from what we see in the non-Christian culture. The "Reckless Abandon" that I was referring to, of course, was giving up all for the sake of following Christ. Even when we look in the Bible, whenever we see the word "abandon" it is that negative concept of being left or deserted. Rather, the idea of abandon is a concept used to shorthand a wide spectrum of emotion.

Abandon is that moment of decision when you decide to "go for it." It's the feeling of jumping out of the plane, or the feeling of diving under a wave. It's sitting in the dirt of a Middle Eastern city counting tax money when the new Rabbi in town says, "Follow me." And for a second you look into his brown eyes and see that he means you and the moment is both urgent and utterly life changing. What you decide can completely shape the rest of your life...or the rest of history. It's the defining moment, the now moment. In the second that lasts for a seeming eternity you feel the roughness of currency in your hand when you decide you will abandon all you have including your job security and comfort for an opportunity to follow after this Yeshua man. (Matthew 9:9)

Jesus makes abandon synonymous with following. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "The first Christ-suffering which every man must experience is the call to abandon the attachments of this world. … we surrender ourselves to Christ in union with His death—we give over our lives to death. … When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." (The Cost of Discipleship)

Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it." (Mark 8:34-35)

Also, in Matthew 8:18-22:
When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."

Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

One might say that this is a steep cost. But I'm convinced that all the great things in life: 1) will be hard, and 2) will cost something.

So this moment is the now moment. Time to abandon. It's time to go for it. I'd rather be with Jesus and no props than building a kingdom that won't last without Him.