Make us One

“Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Hebrews 13:3

So, this bring us to the end of our Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon memory lane. One song that is usually overlooked on this project is this one: number 10. Many get to the end of the song and turn it off, not realizing that I did the trendy (at the time) practice of sticking a 'hidden' track on there. This song came out of a season of intercession for the persecuted church. The cover has a door with a backpack by it. This song sort of pulls everything together. The hidden track is a portion of a sermon that an acquaintance of mine (who was a representative for Voice of the Martyrs) shared at Grace Church in Show Low, AZ. I hope you enjoyed this process :-)



Make Us One
by Joel Bidderman

As they store treasures that will outshine the sun
These flowers are snatched from their place
As their beauty is crushed and blown away
Lift their fragrance to the wind as we pray…

Chorus 1:
Father make us one
With our brothers and sisters who suffer for Your Son
As they hold high the Cross
Let us not forget their chains, Oh Father
Make us one

As they patiently bear so much pain
While from their lips flows their Savior’s name
A seed is planted as broken wings fly
On a news that’s too good to die…

Chorus 2:
Father make us one
With our brothers and sisters who suffer for Your Son
As we hold high the cross
Let us not forget their chains, Oh Father
Make us one
© 2000 Joel A Bidderman *Testimony by David Witt, Voice of the Martyrs Ministry (used by permission)

Guitar and Vocals: Joel Bidderman

Niels

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

My song "Niels" is a song that I wrote the lyrics to in La Paz, Bolivia, when I was on a trip there with Teen Mania Ministries. Having just graduated, I ventured out of the country to this South American country where my privileged white U.S. citizen worldview was drastically shaken. There I was encountered with poverty, much closer to absolute than I had ever experienced. Teen Mania does drama presentations of the Gospel, and as we toiled to learn motions to the soundtrack, we auditioned before the leaders who would decide who would play which part. Apparently, I was able to make the most pained (or compassionate) facial expression, because they gave me the role of Jesus (the Miracle Man). The timing of the choreography was pretty simple...with the exception of the brutal crucifixion scene where I was beaten, thrown down numerous times, and eventually crucified on a cross made by other actors - all in time with some fast paced music. While, yes, these actions were mimed quite masterfully (if I do say so ;-), every once in a while I took a blow, and I landed just right on the stone streets to have bruises on my knees, hips, elbows and forearms...and palms. Then someone finally saw my bruises and said, "Oh, didn't anyone give you elbow and knee pads?...here you go." :-P Thanks. But let's not kid ourselves. I loved it. I was sharing in Christ's sufferings in kind of a literal way. For that passionate 18 year old, it hurt so good.

One thing about having the role of Jesus is that by the end of the drama presentation I was so out of breath that I couldn't talk (La Paz being the highest capital city in the world, at 12,700ish ft didn't help either). But I would try to go out into the crowd with a contact from a local church to pray with people. Most of those are a blur though. One day I remember though. I went out into the crowd, speaking in my broken spanish. I always confused the words pecados and pescados, which, if I didn't choose the right one I would ask people if they would like to pray to ask the Lord to forgive them of their fish (instead of sin). Apparently, this time I did it right. I spoke with a man named Niels, and as I began to ask him if he understood the drama, he just looked at me, and as his eyes welled up with tears, he placed his hand over his heart. I called over the interpreter and we prayed for Neil to receive the Lord into his life.

That interaction played a huge role in my walk of Faith. God showed me how I get to join Him in reaching the world. He even uses imperfect, bruised, and broken, little ol' me. Hallelujah.


Niels
By Joel Bidderman

Hopeless eyes with no signs of life
Lonely cries echo in the darkest night
No one denies, they all look for something more
A reason to rise, to wake and keep on fighting this war

As they ache with a pain that can’t be reached
With Christ’s love let’s reach out to let them see

Chorus:
There’s an answer to the questions they’re asking
There’s a water that will quench their thirsting
That in the dark there’s a light that shines all night
And this light shines out from the one called Christ

Aching cries, “Will you give me life?”
Lost eyes, “Will you give me a home?”
They all thrive asking, “Give me more?”
“Give me a life, one that won’t leave me asking for more”
As they ache with a pain that can be reached
With Christ’s love let’s reach out to let them see…
©1997 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser

Bowed Upright: Candice Miracle

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo
Keys: Jake Parsons

Clouds

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” Matthew 3:8

I am a nomad. Anyone who knows me knows that. The underlying sense of that comes from the truth that I find in the Bible. This world is not my home, whether I reside in Arizona, Minnesota, Georgia, or Southern California. In the process of being a sojourner, the Lord has brought me to cross paths with so many other wanderers. This is just a reflection on being led by the Spirit.



Clouds
by Joel Bidderman

Crystal blue, like the water
Clear to see that there’s an answer
The clouds roll out to prove Your plan
That a life is in Your hand

Water flowing over me
Breaking open the rock inside of me
Wind blowing through me
With my life in Your free command

Chorus: 
With my head up in the sky
You make me wonder why
That You would use these streams
To flow over me

To bring a sunset
And lay it on top of a desert
The prairies are only as free
As You will let them be in me

Crystal blue, like the water
Clear to see that there’s an answer
The clouds roll out to prove Your plan
That my life is in Your hand
© 2000 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser

Bass: Jay Brashear

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo
Keys: Jake Parsons

Reckless Love

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19

"Reckless Love" is just sort of a back-porch bluesy type song. It was definitely one of my favorite songs to do in concert. The rambling lyrics are fun, but more than that, I really like how they play around with some pretty large truths. I was spending much time in the parable of the Great Feast (Luke 14:15-24) and Matthew 25's parable of the Sheep and the Goats. I suppose this is one of those songs that pretty much just says what I was trying to say: the first part of the song reflecting on this side of Heaven and the second on the other.



Reckless Love
by Joel Bidderman

The poor, the broken, the ones called “Prodigal Child”
If they are called “Lost” that means that someone is lookin’ around
But the coffee turns to tea, while they remain the “Least of These”
You said, “What you have done to them you have done to me”
Fulfilled or ignored the deepest satisfying need
But the found remain dark, while the monotone sing the mind’s creed
Is it vain conceit or sweet devotion that I know You love me?
They may label me insanity
But I will give everything because You love me…and them, and You call to the deep…

Chorus:
Beauty for the ashes
Rest for the weary ones
Invitation to the poor, come eat and drink everyone
Soar up on wings of Hope and fall into the arms…of Reckless Love

Time comes twisting and turning and falling to the ground
It gets trampled underfoot as logic is spinning around
To the Glory brighter than the sun and more merciful too
A petal falls from my heart in joy and gets swept up in
The singing, tears, the dancing and all the things that they didn’t know wasn’t a sin
I’m gonna’ open up my eyes now but someday not again
When the door with my knuckle blood finally flies open, I beg You’ll tell me
The words that I am looking for in longing to love You the way that You love me…
With Reckless Love…
© 2001 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman
Upright Bass: Candice Miracle

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Body percussion: Mike Benning

Harmonica: Dick Mecone

Being Homesick and sitting on rocks

“…So Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.” Hebrews 9:28

One of my happy places in my early twenties was a place overlooking the Mogollon [moe-gee-yawn] Rim. The Mogollon Rim trail was about a mile from the cabin that I was living in, and the rim is a valley lined with ponderosa pine trees. I would often walk the trail and sit down on a rock. The same rock every time. My rock. I affectionately called that rock, "butt rock." It's as if the hand that spun the universe, fashioned the moon, stars, and sun, also reached down to this boulder in AZ and stuck a dent in the granite rock just the right size for this mountain boy's derriere. Well, one winter evening I was unwinding after a long day, thinking, praying, and watching the sunset. In the winter-time the sun would set just over to the right of where I would sit. The evening I wrote the words to this song, there were some storm clouds swirling about, and with the sun setting behind them it looked as if the sky was melting away. I remember whispering, "come Lord Jesus," wishing Jesus would come back, -coming on the clouds. It reminded me of a passage from C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity (1952),

God will invade. But I wonder whether people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realise what it will be like when He does. When that happens, it is the end of the world. When the author walks on to the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else - something it never entered your head to conceive - comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing; it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realised it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last for ever. We must take it or leave it. (p. 65-66).

Well, needless to say, Jesus didn't come back that evening. But He did give me these lyrics to express in words the prayer my heart was praying.



Homesick
by Joel Bidderman

I’ve been dreamin’; or wishin’ I guess
For You to blow those clouds open, and take me home to rest
So as colors swirl up above and until dark takes their place
My soul cries out “Come, Jesus take me Home to stay”

I’ve been soul searching, or cleaning out I guess
All this stuff my heart picked up today that’s keepin’ me from rest
And I know You’re merciful and strong
So if not this world, invade this heart that longs

Chorus: 
I can’t wait to see Your face
To awe in Your glory, to dance in Your grace
To join in a chorus so peaceful, I’d faint
Oh to be with You…I can’t wait

I’ve been thinkin’, or brainstormin’, I guess
Of how good You are to us, even in lack of innocence
Oh my Redeemer, my Shepherd, and my Best Friend
Invade this space they say is mine
Take me and mold me in Your time

Bridge: 
And if these rocks that I’m sitting on did burst into song
They’d sing about Your goodness, Your majesty and Your love
Oh God You are my strength, my refuge and my song
So if not this world, invade this heart that longs…
© 2000 Joel A Bideerman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser, Erin Parsons

Bass: Jay Brashear

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: I Will Trust

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

I wrote "I Will Trust" when I was dorm parent in a boy's dorm at a school for Native American kids. I was sitting outside the dorm room door with a couple of the guys. It was Pedro (a Navajo guy) and Mitch (an Apache guy). We were out there in the cool mountain air, and I was jamming on the guitar and we were making up lyrics, and though I did the actual melody making and lyric development, they were convinced that since they were there it means that they wrote it :-P

Regarding 'trust,' I wrote:

A prize that can’t be won and a faith that is only theory until it is given feet. An enduring joy that comes through tragedy, satisfaction that comes through surrender, and a trust that comes through all the falling and reaching only to find out that the One who has the strength to catch you is as present today as He will be tomorrow. And through all the rambling and bumbling we run into a new wall called “mercy” that’s been there the entire time but all of a sudden now we have eyes to see it. And somehow we trust that it’ll be there tomorrow, and not only then and the day after, but for all of eternity. 

So from the farthest corner of our hearts where He can use us simply because we are His...we trust.

I Will Trust
by Joel Bidderman
(with inspiration by Pedro Nez and Mitch Clawson)

I’m sitting in my evening chair
Watching the stars and the clouds go by in the air
The moon in the sky looks down at me and says, “Don’t worry”
Well, there are lots of things that I give to and care
Some rob me of joy and of this I cannot bear
The brain in my head says to my heart, “Where is your freedom?”

Chorus 1:
What if the moon falls and I’m lost in the night?
Or if the earth breaks away and love is hurt in the fight?
Well, I know You are there even though not in sight
So I need not worry, I need not worry

Will I worry about what people think and say
Or will I jump, and shout and dance all day?
Cuz Lord You love me, this I see
Oh Lord You love me, and I will sing…

Chorus 2: 
You hold the Heavens and You hold them tight
You hold my life in Your loving might
Well, I know You are there even though not in sight
So I need not worry, I need not worry

Bridge:
I will trust in You

I’m sitting in my evening chair
Watching the stars and the clouds go by in the air
The moon in the sky looks down at me and says, “Don’t worry”
Well, there are lots of things that I give to and care
This one won’t rob my joy, but it gives me care
Cuz Lord You love me, this I see
Oh Lord You love me, and I will sing…
I will trust
© 1999 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser, Erin Parsons

Drums: Wes Clark

Bass: Jay Brashear

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons

Reference:
Bidderman, J. A. (2007). The Gospel of Somehows: essays, poems, and random thoughts on growing up to be a child. Lulu.com Self Publishing

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: Waiting

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31

"Waiting" was written at the end of a really tough week. I wrote this following passage in reflection of that week:

I think I’m finally starting to catch on to the audacious truth of the sovereignty of God, that when we as humans wait until the last moment it’s called “procrastination,” but when God does it it’s called “perfect timing.” To me, the bravery of the Gospel seems to be that when all hope is gone, grim in the face of fear and hopelessness, the day is saved not by a king dressed in shining armor, but by a brazen skinned carpenter with callused feet. When we think the perfect entry would have been at the beginning of the first act, the hero and star comes in at the very last second of the play. We sit on the edge of our seats not giving up hope because we know the hero is coming; almost to tears, but closer to doubt, we pray for the strength to wait. Then when He does come, we faint with grateful exhaustion as we adorn a storm worn smile, saying, “I knew He’d come" (Bidderman, 2007, p. 33-34).

Back then I was waiting for a lot of things, but there's a certain romantic desperation connected to all of it. On one hand there is the closeness that comes through walking in the wilderness (spiritual), that while you're quite desperate for God, you also see that He's closer than the air you breathe. Somehow :)

So, finally, this is a passage by Frederick Buechner (1977) that really influenced this song:

The good news breaks into a world where the news has been so bad for so long that when it is good nobody hears it much except for a few. And who are the few that hear it? They are the ones who labor and are heavy-laden like everybody else but who, unlike everybody else, know that they labor and are heavy-laden. They are the last people you might expect to hear it, themselves the bad jokes and stooges and scarecrows of the world, the tax collectors and whores and misfits. They are the poor people, the broken people, the ones who in terms of the world's wisdom are children and madmen and fools. They have cut themselves shaving. Rich or poor, successes or failures as the world counts it, they are the ones who are willing to believe in miracles because they know it will take a miracle to fill the empty place inside of them where grace and peace belong with grace and peace. Old Sarah with her China teeth knows it will take a miracle to fill the empty place inside her where she waits for a baby that will never come, so when the angel appears and tells her a baby is coming she laughs and Abraham laughs with her because, having used up all their tears, they have nothing but laughter left. Because although what the angel says may be too good to be true, who knows? Maybe the truth of it is that it's too good not to be true (p. 70-71).

Waiting
by Joel Bidderman

This road is dusty
And it’s getting to my eyes
So that I can’t see where I’m going
Or even the time
But I’ll trust in You
Though it feels hurtin’ to me
And though I can’t see

Job, Abraham and Sarah
We could talk for hours
About wishing that Your timing
Was a little closer to ours
But I’ll toast to You
With my rusty heart
And my cup that’s full of tears

Chorus:
Lord I’m waiting, I’m waiting
For You to save the day
For You to hold this heart (repeat)

Walking for miles, through mud and rain
Looking for the sun to rise
On a field so dry, I cannot feel
It’s as if something has died
So I’ll wait for You
With my hands tied
So that I can feel the joy of Your touch

Bridge: 
And they that wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They will mount up with wings as eagles
They will run and not grow weary; they’ll walk and not faint
So teach me Lord…to wait
© 2000 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman
Vocals: Tabitha Hauser, Erin Parsons

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons
Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Reference:
Bidderman, J. A. (2007). The Gospel of Somehows: essays, poems, and random thoughts on growing up to be a child. Lulu.com Self Publishing
Buechner, F. (1977). Telling the Truth: the Gospel as tragedy, comedy, and fairy tale. N.Y.: Harper & Row Publishers

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: At the Foot of the Cross

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

Looking back over all the songs I've written, I think "At the Foot of the Cross" and "Waiting" are the two that are the dearest to me. I wrote them both within a week of each other. It was a tough week. I think it goes to show the purification process going on.

In meditation of the cross, I remember writing in my journal (and I'd share it in concerts): "When we come to the cross it's scary. Because when we come to the cross we see ourselves for who we really are and who we really aren't, and it's ugly. But when we come to the cross, we also see God for who He really is, and His love for what it really is. Completely full of justice to be sure, but full of compassion and mercy."

So, this song is an honest remembering of my first-love. Not just in a static kind of way, but in a way of putting myself in that place again. Reminds me of what Giorgio Tiepolo wrote, "Anyone who does not fall in love with God by looking at Jesus dead upon the cross will never fall in love" (Liguori, 1997, p. 11). What many don't know who have heard this song, is that it was such a hard song to write for me, it took me a while to be able to sing it without shedding a tear. In a way, I think it was one of the first songs as a songwriter where I actually wrote what I was trying to say.



At the Foot of the Cross
by Joel Bidderman

Have You brought me here
Among these rocks and thorns
Listening for the voice that I long to hear
Let this be my plea
Keep me on my knees
That I would not forget Your mercy

Chorus:
At the foot of the cross
I’m broken and I’m weak
At the foot of the cross
I lay everything

Oh Friend of mine
Once bruised, bleeding and torn
Let me not forget why You hung there
My iniquities You paid
My sin Your joy to bear
Your love that draws and holds me close to You
© 2000 Joel A Bidderman

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman
Vocals: Erin Parsons, Becky Thompson

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons
Percussion: Fred Jacobs
Bowed Upright Bass: Candice Miracle

References:
Liguori, A. (1997). The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ. (P. Heinegg, trans.), Liguori, Missouri: Liguori Publications

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: Life Abundantly

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”  John 3:17

As the first line hints, the song "Life Abundantly" was kind of written in response to Matthew 6:25-34:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Also, it was written in reflection of how God did not come to just give us life after death, but life now. At this stage in my life authors like Frederick Buechner, Brennan Manning, and Henri Nouwen were really shaping my theological devotional thought (and a little Max Lucado). In essence, I was learning that God loved me as I was, not what I would be someday. One my favorite highlighted passages in Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel says,

“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer. 

To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, "A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God." 

The gospel of grace nullifies our adulation of televangelists, charismatic superstars, and local church heroes. It obliterates the two-class citizenship theory operative in many American churches. For grace proclaims the awesome truth that all is gift. All that is good is ours not by right but by the sheer bounty of a gracious God. While there is much we may have earned--our degree and our salary, our home and garden, a Miller Lite and a good night's sleep--all this is possible only because we have been given so much: life itself, eyes to see and hands to touch, a mind to shape ideas, and a heart to beat with love. We have been given God in our souls and Christ in our flesh. We have the power to believe where others deny, to hope where others despair, to love where others hurt. This and so much more is sheer gift; it is not reward for our faithfulness, our generous disposition, or our heroic life of prayer. Even our fidelity is a gift, "If we but turn to God," said St. Augustine, "that itself is a gift of God." 

My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.” (Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out)

So, given all this, the song is pretty much just a celebration of Grace that takes me as I am.

*By the way, the last verse? That was about my singleness and the woman I was going to marry someday. My wife was written into my songs long before I met her :-)

Life Abundantly
(c) 2000 Joel A Bidderman

Regarding the birds and the flowers…
Now I see what You mean, there’s nothing better than
You loving me
So I’ll sing: Your faithfulness and strength and Your mercy
And before this heart faints…let me say
What You are to me, cuz it astounds my mind
That You chose me

Chorus: 
And when I think of what I have and do not see, well, I’m amazed
And I am overjoyed that You’d use me
So as we talk with me on my knees, I wanna’ say
Thanks for dying to give life abundantly

And when we talk about lonely
You know what I mean, and if tears fall
You made me
That’s why I’m growing
Closer to You, can’t wait until You show me
The other part of me

Bridge: 
I’m walking, I’m talking, I’m singing for You Lord
I’m learning, I’m breaking, I’m growing closer to You my Lord
I’m kneeling, I’m bowing, I’m praying to You Lord
I’m jumping, I’m shouting, I’m dancing for You Lord

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser, Erin Parsons

Drums: Wes Clark

Bass: Jay Brashear

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: Romans 14:7-8

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. Romans 14:7-8

This should be interesting, talking about an old recording kind of feels weird. Like I'm partially making excuses for what I thought was cool a long time ago, partially flat out embarrassing, and partially nostalgic. So, hopefully this will be mostly nostalgic, but well see.

Now, I think I remember Rich Mullins saying something to the effect of "If you have to ask the story behind a song, then it probably isn't a very good song. Because what the song says is what the song's about." (Maybe I'm butchering it, but I seem to remember something like that...) That's kind of the deal with most of my songs, with exception to a few quirky stories and memories. Romans 14:7-8 was one of the first songs that I wrote for this project, and it kind of sets the reckless abandon tone for the project. It's just sort of a declaration of faith. I'm not gonna lie, the movie Braveheart had 5 years to simmer in me before I wrote this one. It definitely 'goes' for it -very grandiose chorus hook (kind of a pep talk I guess), and I definitely showed my love for paradoxes in it :-) I guess the biggest thing is that I really meant what I wrote. For all my weaknesses and broken pieces, I really wanted God to have my everything...and still do.

Romans 14:7-8

(c) 2000 Joel A Bidderman

On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is but sinking sand
As the world holds trophies in their hands
On this grace alone will I stand

As the flowers of the field wilt and they fade
And as the birds in the sky fly away
I’ll take up my cross and follow your lead
Cuz there’s one life to live and it’s for your name

Whether I live or die
Whether I fall or rise
Or if I am lost in this heart of mine
Whether in peace or storm
Or standing in suffering’s court
Let it be known that I belong to You

For rich or poor, being poor and rich
For You own my everything
In weaknesses tear
Your joy is strength
To reach out beyond me

The balm for brokeness lies in Your grace
Rest for the weary in seeking Your face
Though the path gets lonely, You are with me
As I stand through the night, and though the earth gives way…I sing

Vocal & Guitar: Joel Bidderman

Vocals: Tabitha Hauser, Erin Parsons

Drums: Wes Clark

Bass: Jay Brashear

Percussion: Fred Jacobs

Guitar: Joe Sanzo

Keys: Jake Parsons

Depravity, Grace, and Reckless Abandon: Introduction

My album Depravity, Grace and Reckless Abandon was written at an interesting time in my life. First, it was in my early twenties (need I say more?). Second, I was working cross-culturally with Native American youth at the time. Third, I lived alone in a cabin in the woods, so my introverted self had much to contemplate. During this time the Lord awoke my heart to the tragedy, of Christians all over the world who were being martyred for their faith. Voice of the Martyrs was the organization that taught me those realities. I would wake up in the middle of the night and weep and pray for those in prison on the other side of the world. So, there is much in the album regarding the fleetingness of life and living with meaning and abandon - I guess that the context that has to be given there.

For me, depravity is the daily realization of the tragic truth that not only am I unable to save myself, but I am not even so much as capable of helping in the Salvation process. Grace is the truth that out of nothing but pure love for me, the Creator made a way for me to have Salvation and abundant life through Jesus Christ. That gift is free, no strings attached. Reckless abandon is my heart's response to this radical Grace. It's giving up all I am to experience the depths of Jesus Christ. These three aspects of my personal relationship with my Creator are what weave this project together, bringing to fruition my heartfelt compilation of love for my Savior as intimate and as contemplative as I (at the age of 20 or so) knew how to record it into an album of sound.

Like any project of a student sound engineer, there are parts of this project which I cringe at. My friend engineered it, but I did the mixing (back before I knew what ProTools was). It was recorded down to adat tapes, mixed on a partially automatable Soundcraft Ghost console. It's still one of my favorite projects for the sheer passion of it. It's not perfect, but neither am I.

Over the next week I'll be taking a song from the project and blog the story behind it and post the audio.

Depravity, Grace and Reckless Abandon speaks the heart of the Gospel. From the freedom of forgiveness of sin, to the fellowship of sufferings, this CD presents lyric truth and hope. Joel Bidderman's musical talent shines as he sings his heart to God. Anyone listening to this CD will be drawn into the worship and their hearts will be lifted up in adoration of Christ. As I think of this CD and Joel's witness to the Gospel I am reminded of Philippines 3:10, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings..." I believe Joel's music will give the listener greater insight into those words. 

Joel's life and music has always honored our suffering, persecuted brothers and sisters in Christ. He has a love for the Body of Christ and I applaud his faithfulness in sharing that passion with others through his inspired music.
Pastor David Witt, The Voice of the Martyrs

Joel Bidderman's latest release, Depravity, Grace and Reckless Abandon, is a heartfelt compilation of sincere music to God. Joel has the amazing ability to convey a Godly message in a very down to earth manner. Catchy rhythms, excellent guitar playing and prayerful lyrics are found throughout this release. I count this as Joel's best work to date.
Ron Everingham, Apache Youth Ministries, Whiteriver, AZ

Joel's songs enable the listener to reflect while painting a beautiful picture of life, focusing on grace and selflessness.
Gina Wells, Missionary